August 7, 2011
Julie Hester
"Stay in the Boat"
Matthew 14: 22-33
It’s a temptation to step into a pulpit for the first time in a new place, and talk about yourself. It’s not a bad impulse. There are things about me you might want to know, and perhaps ought to know, if I am to be your Pastor to Children and their Families here. What you do know about me mostly fit on one side of a piece of paper introducing me. And while I’ve met some of you over the last couple of weeks in the halls here, or after worship, and I got to hang out with a lot of the children and volunteers at Vacation Church Camp recently, still, there is a lot I could say about myself, seeing many of you for the first time. I could talk about my call to ministry. About why I believe God has brought me here, now. About how beginning a new call somewhere is like stepping out of the boat in faith, as Peter did, and trusting in Jesus. But as I read over the gospel passage this week, it clarified for me something I needed to hear: It’s not about me. In fact, it’s not even about Peter, not really.
I’ve heard a multitude of sermons on this passage, and maybe you have too. And the vast majority of them like to say something like this: There will be stormy seas in your life. You might find yourself tossed about in your boat. But if you step out in faith, and keep your eyes on Jesus, you can be more than you think, you can do more than you think. You could even walk on water like Jesus, if you have enough faith to try. Trust Jesus, and get out of the boat. I like that message! It’s a great one to preach: come on, people now, have faith, and take a step. Thanks be to God. Amen. Let’s sing a hymn and go home.
But I’ve got a few more minutes to fill up here, and I don’t think that’s what this passage is about, not really. We haven’t talked about doubt yet. Peter’s doubt, our doubt. Poor Peter, in sermons where he shows up that I’ve heard and read, and even preached…he gets the same kind of two-sided treatment 2000 years later as he did back in those early days with Jesus: one minute he is a man of faith, quick to swing his feet over the edge and take a step…and the next he is a man of doubt, who takes his eyes off of Jesus and remembers his own limits, and so sinks like a rock. Most preachers like to say he is a model for us, at least in that first faithful impulse, to leave the safety of the boat and draw near to the one calling him forward.
I’m not so sure.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for stepping out in faith, and trusting God. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t think that God calls us into new ways of faithfulness, and equips us to walk and serve in ways we can’t envision for ourselves. But I don’t think Peter is the one to pay attention to here. It’s not about Peter. It’s about Jesus.
This story takes place just after the one we heard last week, Jesus feeds the 5000. The loaves and fish have been multiplied, everyone is stuffed, and the leftovers have been gathered up. Then, immediately after dinner, Jesus has the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead to the other side, while he dismisses the crowd. Jesus continues up the mountain by himself to pray, and stays there until evening comes. The next we hear of him, it is early in the morning.
Meanwhile, the disciples have been struggling in the middle of the sea all night. Following the instructions of Jesus to get to the other side, they encounter battering waves and blowing wind. The Sea of Galilee is less than eight miles across at its widest, and yet they are still far from land, even with experienced boatmen in the craft. They’ve spent a long night, trying to do what Jesus asked. They could have given up at any point and said, to heck with it, we’re going back across where we last saw Jesus, we’ll try again tomorrow. And who could blame them for muttering a little about how if Jesus wanted so badly for them to get to the other side, maybe he could have helped them out a little…stilled a storm like he did back in chapter 8, maybe, or done some miracle like he just did with those loaves and fishes. Or just gotten in the boat with them in the first place.
I got caught in a storm at sea once, at church camp on a big Florida lake, in a canoe. It came up so fast, we had no warning. I was about 12, and was with my friend Nancy. The rain was coming down so hard we couldn’t see the shore after awhile, and we knew we were being washed down the lake away from where we wanted to go. Even with my life jacket on, I was petrified of the canoe turning over. I was a pretty good swimmer, but Nancy wasn’t. The water was dark and choppy, and we were a long way from where we wanted to be. And even though it was church camp, and we had been singing and talking about Jesus for a week, I no more expected to see him come help me than I expected myself to be able to walk on the water. I’m not even sure I thought to pray at the time. Truthfully I was too worried about ending up on the other side of the lake where we had been told they filmed the scary movie Friday the 13th, which wasn’t at all true, but seemed entirely plausible at the time. We drifted and paddled and cried in the rain and later had a long walk back to camp, where we were in trouble because we left the canoe where we landed. It was one of the scarier things I’ve lived through. Sort of unreal and nightmarish.
So I tend not to hold it against the disciples when they think they see a ghost on the water. In the unreal nightmare they are living through they don’t recognize Jesus at first, early in the morning. They don’t expect to see him there, walking on the water. It’s not something they knew he could do. So they assume the worst, and yell about ghosts. Jesus immediately speaks to their fears and says: Take heart, it is I, do not be afraid.” Here’s a little Bible tip for you: Whenever anyone says “Do not be afraid,” in the gospels, you can be sure there is something worth being afraid of. It’s like when a parent hears the words, “Now don’t get mad, but…” Or, “the car is fine…but…” “Don’t be afraid…but…here I am walking on water, looking like a ghost, in the middle of a storm.”
Jesus shows up in unexpected places, doing unexpected Jesus sorts of things, and frightens us, because as soon as we leave him behind, we forget who he is, and have trouble recognizing him. Even when we are trying to do what he asked. Even when we are people of faith. We forget to expect him.
Peter’s problem begins here. Peter’s doubt begins here. His great failing is not later in the story when he is stepping over the waves, and then remembers the wind blowing, and starts to sink, but right here, when he doesn’t recognize Jesus. He says, “Lord, if it is you…command me to come to you on the water.”
Lord, if it is you…Jesus had just said, “It is I.” And who else did Peter know who might be able to walk on water? Was he in the habit of seeing ghosts? Or had he already forgotten between the evening and the morning, between one shore and the next, between those miraculous loaves and fishes and this storm on the sea…who Jesus was, and the kinds of things Jesus could do? Lord, is it really you? Here, in the middle of this lake, in the middle of this storm, right when I need you, and least expect to see you? If it is you, Peter says….prove it. Do this for me. Command me to come to you on the water. Do something else impossible for me, with me. That is, if it is really you, Jesus. So Jesus says, “Okay, fine. Come on.” And Peter does. He takes those remarkable steps in faith, but really they were bordered by doubt, as all faith is. And when the doubt flickers back in, and Peter starts to sink, he cries out to Jesus, and immediately, Jesus pulls him up, and says, “Why did you doubt?”
Maybe Jesus isn’t asking, “Peter, why did you doubt that you could walk on water like me?” but rather: “Peter, why did you doubt that it was me in the first place? I told you who I was. You’ve seen what I can do. I show up. Maybe not exactly when you think I should. Maybe looking like something or someone other than you expect. But here I am. Now take my hand and get back in the boat.” Then the storm stops, and the disciples worship him….. We aren’t meant to walk on water, you and I. That’s Jesus’ job. Our place is in the boat where he told us to be, rowing towards the future together.
There’s a long history in Christian symbolism, where the church is represented by a boat. If you look in the window….? Not now…after! In a traditional sanctuary, the part of the building where we sit is known as the nave, from the Latin word for “boat.” It’s like we are a ship of disciples, tossed about by storms, and Jesus is the captain of the vessel. He’s given us a mission: go and make disciples, love God and your neighbor….you all know this part. You are busy living this part out in Charlotte, and around the world. Get in the boat, Jesus says, and head out. Maybe he should also have said, “watch the weather.” Because storms come up. They always do. You know this part, too. All kinds of storms: disease, death, the economy, depression, denominational politics, even our own doubts about God. It is never smooth sailing. But in the middle of the storm, don’t be surprised to look up and see Jesus, just when you had forgotten about him, just when you least expect to see him. Jesus shows up. Because it’s his boat. And his mission. And we are his disciples. Stay in the boat, I say. Let Jesus be the one who walks on water. Stay in the boat and be the church. That’s enough of a challenge, most days. Stay in the boat, because that’s what Jesus told us to do, and we have a job to do, and we are stronger together, than we are on our own. Stay in the boat, keep rowing, and trust Jesus to show up.
We’re going to try some things together, you and I, over these next years. Try to steer the ship of Children and Family Ministries in the direction Jesus has pointed out to us, and stay faithful. It promises to be a great trip, but there are sure to be some days of difficult rowing. While we are busy with our plans for the journey, let us also keep our eyes open for when Jesus shows up, so we can recognize him. In the middle of whatever storms come, expect Jesus. In bread and in wine, in the waters of baptism, expect Jesus. In a Sunday School lesson with 1st graders, at a hospital bedside, expect Jesus. During meeting after meeting, lesson after lesson, even during carpool at Vacation Church Camp, expect Jesus to show up. When we start to have doubts, when we feel like jumping ship and heading off on our own way, remember that it’s not about us. Jesus has called us together, and given us a mission. Go and make disciples of all nations, Jesus tells Peter and the others and us, at the end of Matthew’s gospel. Go…and remember I am with you always…” He walks beside us, ready to reach out a hand, to lift us up, and remind us who he is, when we forget.
Thanks be to God for the boat, for the mission, for one another as disciples together, and for Jesus showing up. Amen.
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